Rule-breakers and Score-keepers

Generalizations are of course vast over-simplifications. In that spirit, I like to divide the world into two categories, rule-keepers and rule-breakers. Rule-keepers are sticklers about showing up on time for work, giving and needing instructions down to the letter, and apologizing profusely for even the most minor failure to meet their own high standards…….They make great bureaucrats and pharmacists. They are not great at roundabouts; and recipes that call for ‘a dash’ of something, stress them out. Rule-breakers, on the other hand, believe that as long as the work gets done, they don’t really care about being 30 minutes late or working all night. It’s the product that matters. They believe all Stop signs should say “Yield”, and don’t really bother about recipes at all. They make great entrepreneurs and designers.

I have actually found this over-simplification helps me be much more patient with the folks on the other end of the spectrum from me. The world needs all of us, and the tension that we feel when we rub shoulders in close quarters with one another should remind us to value our different perspectives and celebrate that, together, we make the world a better place. Impatience and frustration point out the pride in our own hearts that insists that everyone should see the world the way I see it.

The one trait that we all share to some degree, whether rule-keeper or rule-breaker, is the tendency to be score-keepers. The recovering Pharisee in all of us keeps track of one another’s failure to meet our expectations. That’s why the disciples ask Jesus the ludicrous question: am I only obligated to forgive up to 7 times? I mean seriously, where are we keeping this log of offenses? Jesus’ response is to tell the powerful story of the man who has been forgiven a huge debt, and who then goes out and exacts his pound of flesh from someone else. We find the same self-righteous anger rising up in us as David did, when Nathan the prophet told him the story of the rich man who stole the poor man’s only sheep for a banquet. It’s so easy to see hypocrisy in someone else, but we feel so justified in our own unforgiving, demanding spirit. Our only hope is to burn our scorecards, and confess our pride so that we may extend to one another the love of God, which is patient and kind, is not self-seeking or easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. In my experience, this isn’t a once and done event. It’s becoming a way of life to seek clarity about my own prideful heart, which then fuels my willingness to forgive my neighbor.