Mornings in February

There are days when I wake up ready to go back to bed again. Worse, there is a tape on loop in my head reminding me what a failure I am, how I seem to do nothing but frustrate people or let them down. In those moments, I can succumb to the accusations, wallow in feeling misunderstood and isolated, or I can (barely) look to Jesus and draw strength to turn from the darkness of half-truths, and towards the light of His truth. Just looking feels like it takes an enormous amount of energy, until I do. Sometimes I have to intentionally look and turn a few times, but soon the weight of hopelessness starts to slide off my back and a spark of light penetrates the darkness. The fog starts to lift, and my soul is cheered. Finding Scripture to cling to helps me greatly in ‘the looking’. This morning there were two verses: “Strengthen me according to your Word” Ps. 119:28 and “The Lord stood with me and strengthened me” II Tim 4:17. Instead of the weight of accusation, I find in these promises the encouragement of welcome and help. He doesn’t reproach us in or for our weakness. He embraces us in our need and offers us His grace, and His strength in exchange for our weakness.